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Here loch ness monster! (for the South Park fans)

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Here loch ness monster! (for the South Park fans)

Comments for: Here loch ness monster! (for the South Park fans)
Mrkim Report This Comment
Date: April 25, 2016 09:14PM

Nessie would hafta be a helluva cheap date for that to get her attention!
woberto Report This Comment
Date: April 25, 2016 09:37PM

"God Dammit Loch Ness Monster, I ain't gonna give you no tree fiddy."
pulse Report This Comment
Date: April 27, 2016 02:22AM

CHEF'S DAD
Say, would you crackers like to hear about the time we saw the Loch Ness monster?

STAN
No, that's okay.

CHEF'S DAD
Ooh, it must've been about seven, eight years ago. Me and the little lady was out on this boat, you see, all alone at night, when all of a sudden this huge creature, this giant crustacean from the paleolithic era, comes out of the water.

CHEF'S MOM
We was so scared, Lord have mercy, I jumped up in the boat and I said "Thomas, what on earth is that creature?!"


THOMAS
It stood above us looking down with these big red eyes,-

CHEF'S MOM
Oh, it was so scary!

THOMAS
-and I yelled. I said, "What do you want from us, monster?!" And the monster bent down and said, "...Uh I need about tree-fitty."

KYLE
What's tree-fitty?

THOMAS
Three dollars and fifty cents.

CHEF'S MOM
Tree-fitty.

STAN
He wanted money?

THOMAS
That's right. I said "I ain't giving you no tree-fitty you goddamn Loch Ness monster! Get your own goddamn money!"


CHEF'S MOM
I gave him a dollar.

THOMAS
She gave him a dollar.

CHEF'S MOM
I thought he'd go away if I gave him a dollar.

THOMAS
Well of course he's not gonna go away, Nellie! You gave him a dollar, he's gonna assume you got more!
pulse Report This Comment
Date: April 27, 2016 02:24AM

THOMAS
And that was the third time we saw the Loch Ness monster. Then one time, I believe it was July-

NELLIE
August.

THOMAS
-August. There's a knock on the door. I open it, and there's this cute little girl scout-

NELLIE
And she was so adorable, with the little pig tails and all.

THOMAS
-And she says to me, "How would you like to buy some cookies?" And I said "Well, what kind do you have?" She had thin mints, graham crunchy things-

NELLIE
Raisin oatmeal.

THOMAS
-Raisin oatmeal, and I said "We'll take a graham crunch. How much will that be?" And she looks at me and she says, "...Uh I need about tree-fitty."

NELLIE
...Tree-fitty.

THOMAS
Well, it was about that time that I notice that girl scout was about eight stories tall and was a crustacean from the protozoic era.

NELLIE
The Loch Ness monster.

THOMAS
I said, "Dammit monster! Get off my lawn! I ain't giving you no tree-fitty!" It said, "how about just two-fitty?" I said, "Oh, now it's only two-fitty!! What?! Is there a sale on Loch Ness munchies or something?!"

NELLIE
Lord, he was angry.

THOMAS
Damn right, I was angry!

NELLIE
Not you, the monster. He was about to kick your ass.

THOMAS
Aah, shut your mouth, woman!