THOMAS
And that was the third time we saw the Loch Ness monster. Then one time, I believe it was July-

NELLIE
August.

THOMAS
-August. There's a knock on the door. I open it, and there's this cute little girl scout-

NELLIE
And she was so adorable, with the little pig tails and all.

THOMAS
-And she says to me, "How would you like to buy some cookies?" And I said "Well, what kind do you have?" She had thin mints, graham crunchy things-

NELLIE
Raisin oatmeal.

THOMAS
-Raisin oatmeal, and I said "We'll take a graham crunch. How much will that be?" And she looks at me and she says, "...Uh I need about tree-fitty."

NELLIE
...Tree-fitty.

THOMAS
Well, it was about that time that I notice that girl scout was about eight stories tall and was a crustacean from the protozoic era.

NELLIE
The Loch Ness monster.

THOMAS
I said, "Dammit monster! Get off my lawn! I ain't giving you no tree-fitty!" It said, "how about just two-fitty?" I said, "Oh, now it's only two-fitty!! What?! Is there a sale on Loch Ness munchies or something?!"

NELLIE
Lord, he was angry.

THOMAS
Damn right, I was angry!

NELLIE
Not you, the monster. He was about to kick your ass.

THOMAS
Aah, shut your mouth, woman!