fossil_digger Report This Comment Date: November 16, 2005 05:42AM
below is an actual conversation..
A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and
March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and then added
late fees and interest on the monthly charge.
The balance had been $0.00, now is somewhere around $60.00. A family member
placed a call to Citibank:
Family Member:
"I am calling to tell you that she died in January."
Citibank:
"The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still
apply."
Family Member:
"Maybe, you should turn it over to collections."
Citibank:
"Since it is two months past due, it already has been."
Family Member:
"So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"
Citibank:
"Either report her account to the frauds division or report her to the
credit bureau, maybe both!"
Family Member:
"Do you think God will be mad at her?"
Citibank:
"Excuse me?"
Family Member:
"Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being
dead?"
Citibank:
"Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor."
Supervisor gets on the phone:
Family Member:
"I'm calling to tell you, she died in January."
Citibank:
"The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still
apply."
Family Member:
"You mean you want to collect from her estate?"
Citibank:
(Stammer) "Are you her lawyer?"
Family Member:
"No, I'm her great nephew." (Lawyer info given)
Citibank:
"Could you fax us a certificate of death?"
Family Member:
"Sure." (fax number is given)
After they get the fax:
Citibank:
"Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do
to
help."
Family Member:
"Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you just keep billing her.
I
don't think she will care."
Citibank:
"Well, the late fees and charges do still apply."
Family Member:
"Would you like her new billing address?"
Citibank:
"That might help."
Family Member:
"Odessa Memorial Cemetery, Highway 129, Plot Number 69."
Citibank:
"Sir, that's a cemetery!"
Family Member:
"What do you do with dead people on your planet?
fossil_digger Report This Comment Date: November 17, 2005 03:44AM
heres some more stupid shit
ROOF THAT THE WORLD IS
NUTS !
In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have
sex with animals, but the animals must be female.
Having sexual relations with a male animal is
punishable by death
(Like THAT makes sense.)
In Bahrain, a male doctor may legally examine a
woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking
directly at them during the examination. He
may only see their reflection in a mirror. (Do they
look different reversed?)
Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals
of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers;
the sex organs of the deceased must be covered
with a brick or piece of wood at all times. (A
brick??)
The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is
decapitation. (Much worse than "going blind!"
There are men in Guam whose full-time job is
to travel the countryside and deflower young
virgins, who pay them for the privilege of
having sex for the first time...Reason: under
Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins
to marry. (Let's just think for a minute; is
there any job anywhere else in the world, that
even comes close to this?)
In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed
to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do
so with her bare hands. The husband's lover,
on the other hand, may be killed in any manner
desired. (Ah! Justice!)
Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool,
England - but only in tropical fish stores.
(But of course!)
In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex
with her husband, and the first time this happened her
mother must be in the room to witness the act.
(Makes one shudder at the thought.)
In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for
a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter
at the same time. (I presume this was a big enough
problem that they had to pass this law?)
In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from
vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may
be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places
where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on
the premises."
Is this a great country or what? Not as great as
Guam!)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories
an hour. (Who volunteers for this stuff?)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex
for pleasure. (Is that why Flipper was always
smiling?)
The strongest muscle in the body is the
tongue...(Hummm....I won't touch THAT one!)
The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30
times its own weight and always falls
over on its right side when intoxicated. (drinking
little bottles of...? -- did the U.S.
govt. pay for this research??)
Butterflies taste with their feet. (Ah, geez)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.
(I know some people like that.)
Starfish don't have brains. (I know some people
like that too)
And, the best for last.....
Turtles can breathe through their butts. (Do you think
they have bad breath?)
Anonymous Report This Comment Date: November 20, 2005 07:40PM
Educating people? It seems there's much missing in your own education, not
least a knowledge of the English language.
....and, in answer to your question, there's an old saying:"Those who can,
do; those who can't, teach"
