duane Report This Comment Date: August 27, 2005 06:21PM
sense none of this makes sense or this post
I offer this
Doughboy Dead at 71
Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, Pop N. Fresh died yesterday of a severe yeast
infection. He was 71. Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies
in recent years. Dozens of celebrities turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth,
the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, and the Hostess Twinkies.
The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend, Aunt Jemima
delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew how much he
was kneaded." Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was
filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting
much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Still, even as a crusty old man, he was
a roll model for millions. Fresh is survived by his second wife. They have two
children and one in the oven. The funeral was held at 450 for about 20
minutes.
duane Report This Comment Date: August 27, 2005 06:52PM
some more,
Subject: Irish men
An Irish woman "of a certain age", visited her physician to ask
his
help in reviving her husband's libido. "What about trying Viagra?"
asks
the doctor?
"Not a chance," she said, "He won't even take an
aspirin."
"Not a problem," replied the doctor. "Drop it into his coffee.
He
won't even taste it. Give it a try and call me in a week to let me
know
how things went."
It wasn't a week later that she called the doctor, who directly
inquired as to progress. The poor dear exclaimed, "Oh, faith,
bejaysus and
begorrah! 'Twas horrid. Just terrible, doctor."
"Really; what happened?" asked the doctor.
"Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee, didn't I.
The effect! was almost immediate. He jumped hisself straight up, with
a
twinkle in his eye, and wit his pants a-bulging fiercely! With one
swoop of his
arm, he sent the cups and tablecloth flying, ripped me clothes to
tatters
and took me then and there, making wild, mad,
passionate love to me on the table top! It was a nightmare, I tell
you, an
absolute nightmare!"
"Why so terrible?" asked the doctor. "Do you mean the sex
your
husband provided was not good?"
"No, no, no, doctor. The sex was fine. Indeed, 'twas the best sex
I've had in 25 years. But, sure as hell and I'm sittin' here, I'll
never be able to show me face in Starbucks again."
John_Stone Report This Comment Date: August 27, 2005 07:02PM
Wait, are you saying that Bush and Musharraf fucked in Starbucks? Holee shit!
I sure missed that little news item. Good for them though.
duane Report This Comment Date: August 27, 2005 07:12PM
Theres a lot of top secret shit you dont know John.
duane Report This Comment Date: August 27, 2005 07:21PM
pardon how fucked up this is,
YES, I'M A BAD AMERICAN
>>
>> by George Carlin
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> I Am Your Worst Nightmare. I am a BAD American. I am George
>>Carlin.
>>
>>
>> I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not
>>some mid level
>> governmental functionary be it Democratic or Republican!
>>
>>
>>
>> I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way, damn
>>it!
>>
>>
>> I think owning a gun doesn't make you a killer, it makes you
>>a smart
>> American.
>>
>>
>>
>> I think being a minority does not make you noble or
>>victimized, and does
>> not entitle you to anything.
>>
>>
>>
>> I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac, try to do it
>>in English.
>>
>>
>> I think fireworks should be legal on the 4th of July.
>>
>>
>>
>> I think that being a student doesn't give you any more
>>enlightenment than
>> working at Blockbuster. In fact, if your parents are footing
>>the bill to
>> put your pansy ass through 4 years plus of college, you
>>haven't begun to
>> be enlightened.
>>
>>
>>
>> I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when
>>and where
>> they want to.
>>
>>
>>
>> My heroes are John Wayne, Babe Ruth, Roy Rogers, and whoever
>>canceled
>> Jerry Springer.
>>
>>
>>
>> I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
>>
>>
>>
>> I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time arguing
>>about it.
>>
>>
>> I think global warming is a big lie. Where are all those
>>experts now, when
>> I'm freezing my ass off during these long winters and paying,
>>paying,
>> paying?
>>
>>
>>
>> I've never owned a slave, or was a slave, I didn't wander
>>forty years In
>> the desert after getting chased out of Egypt. I haven't
>>burned any witches
>> or been persecuted by the Turks and neither have you! So,
>>shut-the-Hell-up
>> already.
>>
>>
>>
>> I want to know which church is it exactly where the Reverend
>>Jesse Jackson
>> practices, where he gets his money, and why he is always part
>>of the
>> problem and not the solution. Can I get an AMEN on that one?
>>
>>
>>
>> I think the cops have every right to shoot your sorry ass if
>>you're
>> running from them.
>>
>>
>>
>> I also think they have the right to pull your ass over if
>>you're breaking
>> the law, regardless of what color you are.
>>
>>
>>
>> And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my drivers
>>license. I think
>> it's good.....and I'm proud that "God" is written on my
>>money.
>>
>>
>> I think if you are too stupid to know how a ballot works, I
>>don't want you
>> deciding who should be running the most powerful nation in
>>the world for
>> the next four years.
>>
>>
>>
>> I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying
>>to sell me
>> crap or trying to guilt me into making "donations" to
their
>>cause. These
>> people should be targets.
>>
>>
>>
>> I believe that it doesn't take a village to raise a child, it
>>takes two
>> parents.
>>
>>
>>
>> And what the hell is going on with gas prices ... again?
>>
>>
>>
>> If this makes me a BAD American, then yes, I'm a BAD
>>American.
Anonymous Report This Comment Date: August 27, 2005 08:53PM
It's so sad about the Pillsbury Doughboy.
John_Stone Report This Comment Date: August 28, 2005 03:11AM
>> I think global warming is a big lie.
but..but.. the glaciers.. they're... melting. The sea, it's rising..
- see for yourself:
[
www.realclimate.org]
[
news.nationalgeographic.com]
[
news.nationalgeographic.com]
[
www.ncpa.org]
duane Report This Comment Date: August 28, 2005 03:32AM
John do you know we are having an effect on it?
destructor Report This Comment Date: August 28, 2005 07:52AM
Wow, bin laden pays bush not to go after him. That makes sense.
aDCBeast Report This Comment Date: August 28, 2005 09:48AM
destructor
You continue your propaganda tour.
The BinLaden FAMILY makes deal to spare Usama's life. Usama is 1 of 52 kids.
Bush made the deal hence the statements "He's been margnialized."
"I don't really think about him"
No reason to think about him if you have made a deal to let him go.
duane Report This Comment Date: August 29, 2005 12:53AM
Destructor,Beast says your on tour.Are there groupies,is acid gonna make a
comeback,can I sell whipetts,nah,well I guess Ill just keep fucking with these
anti-american fuckers.
aDCBeast Report This Comment Date: August 29, 2005 01:44AM
Duane the Tard
You're my groupie or should I say stalker
ninepointfiver Report This Comment Date: August 29, 2005 05:40AM
Beast, you must be saying a lot of your nonsense just to get rises out of
people. NO ONE can be that idiotic!!!!
aDCBeast Report This Comment Date: August 29, 2005 07:50AM
twopointfiver
Have you looked in the mirror? Then someone can be that idiotic.
duane Report This Comment Date: August 29, 2005 09:31PM
Allright Beast,go sit in the corner!Your getting a timeout Mr.
aDCBeast Report This Comment Date: September 01, 2005 08:08PM
Duane the Tard
Been looking in the mirror too ?
