A Dad buys a lie detector robot which slaps people when they lie. He decides to test it at dinner. "Son, where were you today?" The son says "at school dad." Robot slaps the son! "Ok, I watched a dvd at my friends house!" "What dvd?" "Toy story." Robot slaps the son again! "Ok, it was a porno" cries the son. "What! When I was your a
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The U.S. government today announced that it is changing its symbol from an Eagle to a condom because it more accurately reflects the government's political stance.... A condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of dicks, and gives you a sense of security while you're actually being screwed.
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Must be a drought at the image farm.
Forum: plus613.net

Yep. it's been X day today.
Forum: plus613.net

I got a new stick deodorant today. The instructions said: Remove cap and push up bottom. I can barely walk, but whenever I fart the room smells lovely.
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As I lay on my bed, thinking about you, I feel this strong urge to grab you and squeeze you, because I can't forget last night. You came to me unexpectedly during the calm and balmy night, and what happened in my bed still leaves a tingling sensation in me. You appeared from no where and shamelessly, without any reservations, you laid on my naked body...you sensed my indifference, so you a
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Tony and Yvonne were 85 years old and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because Tony watched their pennies. Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to Yvonne's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade. One day, their good health didn't help when they went on yet another holiday and their pla
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It's alive, I tell ya.
Forum: plus613.net

Let it be noted that on Feb. 21, 2011 plus613 became alive and began refusing to upload photos from some individuals. What hath pulse and DK wrought?
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How 'bout a Gedi mind trick. You did not try to upload any photos. You've never had any problems with this site.
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I just uploaded one. Go ahead and make fun of my Internet Explorer now.
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Sounds like another conspiracy.
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I couldn't get on either.
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I'd love to visit but can't even afford to leave town right now.
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There were these three Eskimos in Alaska, and one time while they were at their local bar, they got to talking about how cold it was outside, and how cold their igloos were. They could agree on everything but whose igloo was the coldest, so... they decided to determine who, indeed, had the coldest igloo. They went to the first Eskimo's igloo, where he said "Watch this!" and poured a c
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I guess woberto hasn't yet learned not to mention "gun lust" when talking about Texans specifically and Americans in general without expecting to push a button.
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We had a catastrophic hurricane here 11 months before Katrina and most people were too dense to leave. Luckily the storm was fast moving so there was no storm surge to speak of or a lot of people would have died. As it was, the wind damage was horrendous and it's a miracle that there were only a handful of deaths. It didn't help either that everyone was fixated on the center of the projected stor
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It's a site better than some sites I've seen.
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Welcome.
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As a North Bay trucker stops for a red light on Hwy.11, a Blonde catches up.. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his Truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the Window, and she says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you Are losing some of your load!" The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl Catches up a
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ITOW = image of the whenever. Too bad that pulse and DK have actual lives or they might be able to change it more often.
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I not only have windows but I'm still limping along with a dialup connection yet things seem to be working fine.
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Thanks guys!
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Dear Lions Bay School , God bless you for the beautiful radio I won at your recent Senior Citizens luncheon. I am 87 years old and live at the West Vancouver Home for the Aged. All of my family has passed away so I am all alone. I want to thank you for the kindness you have shown to a forgotten old lady. My roommate is 95 and has always had her own radio; but, she would never let
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THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. Innovative 2. Preliminary 3. Proliferation 4. Cinnamon THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1.. Specificity 2. Anti-constitutionalistically 3. Passive-aggressive disorder 4. Transubstantiate THINGS THAT ARE DOWN RIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK: 1. No thanks, I'm married. 2. Nope, no more booze for me! 3. Sorry, but y
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California vs. Arizona California: Governor of California is jogging with his dog along a nature trail. A Coyote jumps out and attacks dog. 1. Governor starts to intervene, reflects upon the movie "Bambi" and then realizes he should stop; the coyote is only doing what is natural. 2. He calls animal control. Animal control captures coyote and spends $200 te
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An elderly Irish woman visited her physician to ask his advice on reviving her husband's libido. 'What about trying Viagra?' asked the doctor? Not a chance', she said. 'He won't even take an aspirin.' 'Not a problem,' replied the doctor. 'Give him an 'Irish Viagra'. 'It's when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won't even taste it. Give it a try and cal
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A REDNECK was walking home late at night and sees a woman in the Shadows. > > 'Twenty dollars' she whispers. > > Bubba had never been with a hooker before, but decides what the hell, it's > > only twenty bucks, So they hide in the bushes. > > They're 'engaged' for a minute when all of a sudden a light flashes on them. > It > > is a police offi
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A CNN journalist heard about a very old Jewish man who had been going to the Western Wall to pray, twice a day, every day, for a long, long time. So she went to check it out. She went to the Western Wall and there he was, walking slowly up to the holy site. She watched him pray and after about 45 minutes, when he turned to leave, using a cane and moving very slowly, she approached him for
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Donald Duck and Daisy Duck were spending the night together in a hotel room and Donald wanted to have sex with Daisy. The first thing Daisy asked was, "Do you have a condom?" Donald frowned and said, "No." Daisy told Donald that if he didn't get a condom, they could not have sex. "Maybe they sell them at the front desk," she suggested. So Donald
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