moron in the news award

Posted by: quasi [x] - (208.78.130.---)
Date: June 28, 2009 05:13PM
From time to time we see articles in the news that make us chuckle at how dumb people can be. I thought perhaps this would be an outlet for folks to share these stories and I have the inaugural clipping from the local news.

Cops looking for shooting suspect arrest motorist

Charlotte County Sheriff's deputies who were searching for a suspect in a shooting incident ended up arresting a man who was not involved because he fled from deputies in the area Thursday.

Tarvis Lyndell Brown, 28, who was not involved in the shooting incident, was arrested on a charge of fleeing to elude law enforcement officers, according to a sheriff's report. Bond was set at $2,500.

The arrest came after deputies responding to a report of shots fired in the area of U.S. 41 and Midway Boulevard observed Brown and a passenger in a maroon Mercury four-door sedan in the area, according to the report.

The deputies had been dispatched to look for a maroon Lincoln four-door, which looks like a Mercury, in the shooting incident, the reports show.

The deputies followed Brown as he made several turns through a residential area off West Tarpon Boulevard, the report shows.

After two patrol cars initiated a "felony stop" with guns drawn, they yelled to the driver to turn the vehicle off. Brown began to exit his vehicle, saying, "What'd I do?" according to the report.

Brown then jumped back in his car, put it in reverse, spun his tires across a lawn and drove away with deputies in pursuit, the report indicates.

Brown's passenger told deputies Brown said he thought his license was suspended. She "begged him to stop" and he did, the report states.

Brown's license, however, was valid.
Posted by: fossil_digger [x] - (76.185.252.---)
Date: June 28, 2009 07:46PM
Posted by: dv8 (69.132.105.---)
Date: June 22, 2009 08:58PM

how about some new smiley's. maybe a middle finger without the smiling facethe finger smiley. i could get a lot of use out of that one. i understand you all are busy with your bitches and your other porn money making sites but how bout something new. i have been a 613 member for over ten years and i remember you guys long before your balls finally dropped and within that time, i havn't asked for anything much. just a handful of new smileys.

Posted by: quasi [x] - (208.78.130.---)
Date: June 28, 2009 09:23PM
Posted by: fossil_digger [x] - (76.185.252.---)
Date: June 29, 2009 04:36AM
    [*] In 1996, the family of Patsy Ann Byers sued Oliver Stone, Warner Brothers, and others involved in the making and distribution of the movie "Natural Born Killers" for an unspecified amount. They claimed that the movie caused Sarah Edmondson and Benjamin Darrus to go on a crime spree which resulted in Edmonson shooting Byers during a robbery, leaving her paralyzed from the chest down. The case was ultimately dismissed in June 2002 when a Louisiana appeals court ruled that neither Oliver Stone nor Time Warner intended to inspire violence with the film and they could not be held responsible for the actions of the film’s audience.
    [*] In 1991, Richard Overton sued Anheuser-Busch, creators of Budweiser, for $10,000. He claimed to have suffered emotional distress, mental injury, and financial loss because drinking beer did not make his fantasies of beautiful women in tropical settings come to life, as he claimed it had advertised, driving him to buy and drink more and more Bud Light. The case was dismissed.
    [*] Roy Pearson Jr, a judge in Washington, tried to bully a family-owned dry cleaning shop by suing the owners for $54 million in damages after they lost his pants. The case demoralized the South Korean immigrant owners of the business and brought demands that the customer be disbarred and removed from office for pursuing a frivolous and abusive claim. Pearson's lawsuit against Custom Cleaners of Northwest D.C. eventually ended with a U.S. District Judge finding for the defendants. Pearson later indicated that he would appeal.
    [*] Jerome and Judith O'Callaghan filed a $100,000 suit against American Airlines in 2004 because they didn't have enough legroom on a flight to Paris. The couple claimed the airlines had advertised generous legroom, but said it wasn't the case. Their nine-hour flight left them with back and leg pain. Allegedly the limited space made Jerome's legs so unsteady that he tripped and broke his nose and teeth later at the entrance to the Basilica of St. Paul's in Rome.
    [*] In 2002, a Sandusky man serving a 10-year sentence for raping a patient at the former Providence Hospital sued the hospital for negligence. Edward Brewer sued the hospital for $2 million, claiming they were negligent by not preventing him from raping one of its patients. The judge ruled that any damage Brewer suffered due to his crime was his responsibility for choosing to commit the crime, and that the hospital had no legal duty to protect him from that choice
    [*] The mayor of an oil-producing city in southeastern Turkey, which has the same name as the Caped Crusader, sued helmer Christopher Nolan and Warner Bros for royalties from mega-grosser "The Dark Knight." Huseyin Kalkan, the pro-Kurdish Democratic Society Party mayor of Batman accused "The Dark Knight" producers of using the city's name without permission. "There is only one Batman in the world," Kalkan said. "The American producers used the name of our city without informing us." No one from the town of Batman has explained why it took so many years to take legal action, since Batman first appeared -as a comic book character- in 1939.
    [*] Aging German playboy Rolf Eden filed charges against a 19-year-old for refusing to sleep with him. The complaint? Ageism. He says, despite a night on the town with Eden, which ended back at his place, she refused to have sex with him, saying the he was too old for her. So he filed charges with the prosecutors' office: "After all, there are laws against discrimination." Eden is well known to Germans for having been the king of Berlin nightlife in the ‘50s and '60s. The elderly playboy --who claims to have bedded between 2,000 and 3,000 women in his long life-– once shocked Berlin by saying he would like to die while having sex. He wrote: "I would like to die as I have lived: on a woman." He also said that there are some women who are too old for him. But in that case he would be more diplomatic and say, 'sorry, you're not my type’.
    [*] In 2008, a married investment broker in his 30s sued a midtown strip club. Stephen Chang claimed in court papers that he was at the Hot Lap Dance Club near Madison Square Garden in Manhattan alone and was getting a paid lap dance when the accident occurred. According to the lawsuit, as the dancer swung around, the heel of her shoe hit him in the eye, causing him "to sustain serious injuries." The lawsuit claimed the club "and/or its employee" were "negligent" for her "suddenly swinging around" and his lawyer says Chang sustained "serious injuries."
    [*] After watching an episode of the reality TV show Fear Factor on NBC in 2005, Austin Aitken sued the network for $2.5 million. He said the sight of contestants eating blended rats disgusted him so much that his health suffered. He claimed the show raised his blood pressure rise, made him dizzy, and caused him to vomit. He also became so disoriented, he smashed into a door. The lawsuit was thrown out of court.
    [*] After Long Island doctor Richard Batista was slapped with divorce papers from his cheating wife, he decided he'd had enough and sued her for the return of a gift he'd give her eight years prior: a kidney. After the successful transplant, Dawnell --Batista’s wife-- survived, but not their marriage, which lasted only another four years. The heartbroken doctor requested the one-time love of his life to pay $1.5 million for the organ he donated. He insisted his cash-for-kidney claim was a direct result of his wife's behavior.
    [*] In 2007, a Manhattan antique shop owner's lawsuit against hobos who camped in front of his store generated debate about what to do with New York's homeless, many of whom spend winter nights on the street. Karl Kemp, owner of the posh Karl Kemp & Associates Antiques on Madison Avenue, sued three men and a woman for $1-million, alleging they scare away customers when they drink alcohol, urinate and warm themselves above a heating duct in front of his shop. Kemp's suit, filed in state Supreme Court, also seeked an order to keep them 30m away.
    [*] A 16-year-old Connecticut high school student who fell asleep in class alleged he suffered substantial hearing loss when his math teacher smacked her palm down on his desk to wake him up while she was teaching, so his parents decided to sue Danbury High School, the Connecticut Board of Education and the city of Danbury on his behalf. Attorney Alan Barry says 15-year-old Vinicios Robacher suffered pain and "very severe injuries to his left eardrum" when teacher Melissa Nadeau abruptly slammed the palm of her hand on his desk. Vinicios has been teased by students at school ever since.
Posted by: pro_junior [x] - (Moderator)
Date: June 30, 2009 06:32AM
don't know the source or legitimacy of this...

A man was driving when a traffic camera flashed. He thought his picture was taken for exceeding the speed limit, even though he knew he was not speeding. Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. He thought this was quite funny, so he slowed down even further as he drove past the area, but the traffic camera flashed yet again. He tried a fourth time with the same result. The fifth time he was laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past at a snail’s pace. Two weeks later, he got five traffic fine letters in the mail for driving without a seat belt.
Posted by: quasi [x] - (208.78.130.---)
Date: June 30, 2009 04:32PM
ORLANDO, Fla. (AP) — Two men suspected in a group of central Florida car burglaries were caught empty-headed when they asked a deputy for a ride home.

Authorities say 18-year-old Eshon Hardy and 20-year-old Theodor Walker III were walking in a Deltona neighborhood Monday and asked Volusia County deputy Austin Littleton to give them a ride.

The deputy told them he first would have to search them before giving them a lift. The pair agreed, and authorities say they were found to have cell phones and GPS devices and a package of strawberry-flavored Pop-Tarts.

Deputies entered the home addresses in the GPS units to find the burglarized cars. In another case, the only thing missing was change and a package of Pop-Tarts.

The pair were charged with burglary. They were being held on $1,500 bond.
Posted by: dv8 [x] - (69.132.105.---)
Date: June 30, 2009 11:59PM
fossil_digger Wrote:
> Posted by: dv8 (69.132.105.---)
> Date: June 22, 2009 08:58PM
> how about some new smiley's. maybe a middle finger
> without the smiling facethe finger smiley. i could
> get a lot of use out of that one. i understand you
> all are busy with your bitches and your other porn
> money making sites but how bout something new. i
> have been a 613 member for over ten years and i
> remember you guys long before your balls finally
> dropped and within that time, i havn't asked for
> anything much. just a handful of new smileys.
> hehe

(*finger2*)(*finger3*)(*finger4*)(*finger5*)(*finger6*)up yours(*finger*)(*horse*) and the new smileys are very useful!
Posted by: fossil_digger [x] - (76.185.252.---)
Date: July 01, 2009 12:23AM
monty smiles
Posted by: woberto [x] - (165.228.161.---)
Date: July 01, 2009 11:47PM
Posted by: quasi [x] - (208.78.130.---)
Date: July 02, 2009 01:07AM
Yeah, woberto, that was all over the local, evening news here. And, yes, the released snakes are becoming a problem in areas near here. There is also a problem with iguanas in many areas around here.
Posted by: woberto [x] - (165.228.161.---)
Date: July 02, 2009 02:40AM
I just re-read it and it's a bit morose for this thread.
But I just don't understand people with pets like that.
We had an alligator roaming free on the south coast. Not so strange you say but those of you with a college education will know that we have crocodiles down under, not 'gators. It was someones pet and it either got away or got too big.

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/07/2009 02:42AM by woberto.
Posted by: quasi [x] - (208.78.130.---)
Date: July 02, 2009 03:40AM
It's not really a problem until there are enough released to form a breeding population. There have been so many released over the years that pythons and boas are actually beginning to compete for food with the gators in the everglades. And the iguanas are just a nuisance. Florida also has a small population of indigenous crocs around the far southern tip.
Posted by: quasi [x] - (208.78.130.---)
Date: July 02, 2009 03:17PM
Oops, he did it again.

According to the Charlotte County Sheriff's Office:

Mark Thomas Valade, 40, went to Kiwanis Park on March 26, 2008. At the Port Charlotte park, he touched an undercover deputy. He was arrested on the charge on the charge of battery and was found guilty.

Valade, of the 14400 block of River Beach Drive, returned to Kiwanis Park on Tuesday.

Valade again, touched an undercover deputy in a sexual way.

Valade again was arrested on the charge of battery.

Valade again was taken to the Charlotte County Jail, where he was held without bond.

Deputies have been working the park due to complaints of sexual activity.
Posted by: quasi [x] - (208.78.130.---)
Date: July 02, 2009 04:37PM
TORRINGTON, Conn. (AP) — A group of teenagers misunderstood a woman's screams during sex and, thinking they were stopping an assault, beat a 25-year-old man in her bedroom, police said.

A 16-year-old girl who lives in the same Torrington home as the 34-year-old woman overheard her and the man on June 6 and rounded up four friends to stop what they thought was an attack, police Lt. Bruce Whiteley said Thursday.

One of the five teens beat the man with a bat and others punched him, police said. The man was treated at a hospital for injuries that were not life-threatening, and was released that night.

"Apparently he didn't have time to explain himself," Whiteley said.

The girl, two 17-year-old boys and Dilyen Langdeau, 19, of Torrington, were arrested Tuesday night and arraigned in Bantam Superior Court on Wednesday. Langdeau was charged with assault and conspiracy; the teens face similar counts. The fifth teenager was not charged.

A judge sealed the police report. The names of the girl and the two boys were not released because of their ages, and her relationship to the woman wasn't clear.

Messages left at a phone listing in the woman's name and at a phone listing for Langdeau's address were not immediately returned. It wasn't clear if Langdeau has hired an attorney.

There was no phone listing for the victim.
Posted by: quasi [x] - (208.78.130.---)
Date: July 03, 2009 03:54PM
ZURICH (AP) — It must rank among the easiest fires ever to put out.

Zurich authorities say police and firefighters were called to the house of an elderly woman early Thursday after she reported her television set was burning.

When they arrived, they discovered no signs of fire or smoke.

They found instead that the TV was tuned into a German station that in the early morning hours aired the constant image of a fireplace.

"The fire was extinguished with the press of a button," police said in a statement.
Posted by: FrostedApe [x] - (66.58.245.---)
Date: July 03, 2009 04:06PM
Teen wielding pellet gun shot by Anchorage policeman

TACO BELL: 17-year-old hit in arm; security footage will be analyzed.


Published: June 16th, 2009 09:19 AM
Last Modified: June 17th, 2009 09:39 AM

An Anchorage police officer shot and wounded a 17-year-old boy pointing what the officer thought was a scoped hunting rifle at people in the parking lot of a restaurant late Monday night.
The rifle, however, turned out to be a pellet gun, and the youth, who was shot in the arm, told investigators he wasn't pointing it at anyone, police said.

"It doesn't appear that he was trying to hurt anyone," homicide Detective Sgt. Slawomir Markiewicz said Tuesday, hours after the shooting. "He actually said that he was pointing the gun at a sign across the street. But from the officer's viewpoint, there was a group of people there and it looked to him like he was pointing at that group."

Full story link: []
Posted by: fossil_digger [x] - (76.185.252.---)
Date: July 03, 2009 10:27PM
it was o.k. to shoot a stop sign? totally lost
we always ran. (*butt*)
Posted by: quasi [x] - (208.78.130.---)
Date: July 04, 2009 01:32AM
One thing I've always stressed to my kids when they got BB guns was that waiving a gun around was a good way to get shot by the cops because they don't know what the hell kind of gun it is or what you're gonna do with it.
Posted by: ORLANDO399 [x] - (Moderator)
Date: July 04, 2009 03:26AM
My nipples itch!
Posted by: fossil_digger [x] - (76.185.252.---)
Date: July 04, 2009 04:30AM
i've always thought that all b.b. guns or other non-lethal kids fake weapons/guns should be red/orange/lime green, something fluorescent by law. but who ever fuckin' listens to me? (*horse*)
Posted by: woberto [x] - (114.73.82.---)
Date: July 04, 2009 06:09AM
That's the law in Australia, except for z-guns & B.B's although they are kinda rare.
Replicas of any description require a gun licence, even if they are toys.
Posted by: pro_junior [x] - (Moderator)
Date: July 04, 2009 06:23AM
fossils BB gun... up yours
Posted by: fossil_digger [x] - (76.185.252.---)
Date: July 04, 2009 07:02AM
mine were all modified CO2's. and never ever pink. handjob
Posted by: dv8 [x] - (69.132.105.---)
Date: July 04, 2009 07:50AM
MEXICO CITY — Mexican authorities say two professional wrestlers found dead in a low-rent hotel in the capital may have been drugged to death by female robbers.

Autopsies are being performed on the two midget wrestlers, one of whom went by the name "La Parkita" — or "Little Death" — and wore a skeleton costume in the ring. The other was known as "Espectrito Jr."

Authorities say two women were seen leaving the men's hotel room before the bodies were discovered.

Prosecutor Miguel Angel Mancera said Wednesday that gangs of female robbers are experienced at using drugs to knock men out and rob them, but they may have used too strong a dose.

That may have been because of the wrestlers' small stature, although larger men have also died in similar crimes.

Posted by: woberto [x] - (123.200.192.---)
Date: July 07, 2009 01:20PM
MI6 chief blows his cover as wife's Facebook account reveals family holidays, showbiz friends and links to David Irving

Compromised: Incoming MI6 head Sir John Sawers in a picture his wife published on her Facebook profile page
The new head of MI6 has been left exposed by a major personal security breach after his wife published intimate photographs and family details on the Facebook website.
Sir John Sawers is due to take over as chief of the Secret Intelligence Service in November, putting him in charge of all Britain's spying operations abroad.
But his wife's entries on the social networking site have exposed potentially compromising details about where they live and work, who their friends are and where they spend their holidays.
Amazingly, she had put virtually no privacy protection on her account, making it visible to any of the site's 200million users who chose to be in the open-access 'London' network - regardless of where in the world they actually were.
Posted by: quasi [x] - (208.78.130.---)
Date: July 07, 2009 04:05PM
The monkeys are in charge of the zoo.
Posted by: quasi [x] - (208.78.130.---)
Date: July 08, 2009 09:42PM
MORELIA, Mexico (AP) — Call it the case of the dead cells — both telephones and the ones in the brain.

Employees at a Telefonica Movistar cell-phone store in Morelia, Mexico say they arrived Tuesday morning to find that the store had been broken into.

An examination of the shop revealed the only items missing were hollow replica phones for display that are completely useless for making calls.

Employees say the clueless thieves overlooked real cell phones and cash in another part of the shop.

Store owners nonetheless reported the theft to local police, who are investigating.
Posted by: quasi [x] - (208.78.130.---)
Date: July 09, 2009 07:17PM
Associated Press

A woman in southwest Florida has been arrested after deputies say she assaulted her husband for complaining about her cooking.

A Lee County Sheriff's Office arrest report shows 66-year-old Meredith Hart Mulcahy of Bonita Springs was charged with battery on an elderly person Tuesday night.

Deputies say her husband, 71-year-old Richard Johnson, got into an argument with her about undercooked potatoes and burnt bread. He went to the bedroom and began eating, and authorities say Mulcahy then threw a phone at him.

Deputies say she became belligerent in the back seat of the patrol car and earlier yelled, "she burned the bread she was cooking because she was so intoxicated." She was in the Lee County Jail on Wednesday pending a $1,500 bond.
Posted by: quasi [x] - (208.78.130.---)
Date: July 09, 2009 07:18PM
A Port Charlotte couple was arrested Wednesday on various drug and probation violation charges after a search of the home in the 22300 block of Midway Boulevard, where officials found oxycodone, used needles with residue, a straw, razor and numerous empty prescription bottles.

Detectives of the Sheriff’s Fugitive Apprehension Unit were asked by State Probation to assist in checking on John Thomas McElhinny, 32, and his wife, Reanna Lynn McElhinny, for possibly violating their probation requirements. Reanna is nearly 8 months pregnant, according to the Sheriff's Office.

They were arrested on charges of possession of oxycodone and possession of drug paraphernalia.

John McElhinny was additionally charged with violation of probation for grand theft.

Reanna McElhinny was also charged with violation of probation for cocaine possession.

Detectives said they observed fresh track marks on inside of both arms of the pregnant woman, according to the Sheriff's Office.

The Florida Department of Corrections recommends that Reanna be held without bond as she is endangering the life of her unborn child with her continued drug use, according to the Sheriff's Office.
Posted by: woberto [x] - (165.228.161.---)
Date: July 09, 2009 11:23PM
Stop it quasi, you live in America, this thread will be overloaded in no time.
drinking smiley
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