Posted by:
Anonymous [
x] - (202.81.18.---)
Date: June 18, 2007 04:40AM
Some guy held me up at gunpoint when I was polishing boots on the sidewalk, and as he ran away he shouted "find pics of this and my other muggings on plus613.net bitch"
Then I went to a cafe and ordered the big salad. I didn't have enough for the chicken salad, as i'd been mugged. That really topped off my day because I actually would've liked the chicken salad. They serve it in a really nice ceasar dressing, with bacon, croutons and shaved parmesan which melts to the chicken just right.
After going to the cafe, I found an ATM and withdrew some more money. Then I went to a strip club and paid women to show me their girly bits. I masturbated while watching them.
From there, I hailed a taxi and asked him to take me somewhere fun. After I told him my tale of woe, Abjab (the taxi driver) took me to see a movie. We saw "She's the Man" starring nobody important. We watched the movie and it was alright, but nothing to write home about. It was all pretty predictable, but for some reason girls dressing as boys turns me on so I masturbated again.
From there, Abjab and I drove south, to the river. We met a homeless man named Bob. We mugged him to make me feel better about my earlier mishap with the shameless mugger who picked on me. Bob only had a dollar, which I didn't really need, so I threw it into the river before somebody caught us and found his prints.
Going West down Henderson, we soon entered 'crack valley'. I asked Abjab to pull over, and we bought a quarter of premium rocks. We went to Mt Wonder, where there's a good kebab stand and nice views over the town and smoked up. I didn't feel like a kebab after we'd smoked all the rocks, so I hurled it at a seagull. Hit it right on the wing, and it fell out of the sky. "Damn rats", I thought.
After that, it was getting pretty late, so Abjab took me towards home. I didn't realise the prick had left his meter running the whole time, and he wanted some ungodly amount of money, so I led him down a back alley punched him and ran from the taxi. He tried to chase me down but I jumped a fence where there was this dog that tried to hump my leg. If I wasn't in such a hurry, I might've stopped to pet it.
I disappeared down Cream Lane and went around the back of the butchers, where there was another escape alley. Abjab was nowhere to be seen so I figured things would be aight to head home.
On my way home I saw some punk kids beating on somebody, so I ran over and joined in. It was fun, I made some new friends. Then one of them called me a jew so I beat him too. Fucker.
After that, we split up and I finally headed for home. It was day break and I was pretty knackered, and the rocks had worn off so I had a hunger for some more pretty bad. I got home and only had powder, so I washed some shit up and smoked those fine fresh rocks. I figured I may as well do a few lines to take the edge off and also had some cones.
Remembering earlier in the day with that punk ass mugger shouting plus613 at me, I booted up my laptop which some junkie swapped for a few rocks, and came to the site.
It was still one of my best days.
The next day I saw some hookers, that was cool too.
Beats all that American political crap hands down. You know, sometimes an anonymous poster (commenter) can really lift your day from droll to super in just a few minutes. Thanks, anonymous
