fossil_digger Report This Comment Date: April 21, 2007 12:19AM
93
had alot of trouble off the tee 1rst 9 with my 3 wood, switched over to the
metal driver and started poundibg 'em the back 9.
played a course for the first time completely blind, the other 3 were 1rst
timers.
nice course but real plain. lots of water. drained a 15 foot, down hill, 2 foot
break putt for bogey 5 on 18 to tie and save a 5 hole carry over.
ORLANDO399 Report This Comment Date: April 21, 2007 03:40AM
90130_ Wrote:
-------------------------------------------------------
> Man, you really outdid yourself on this series of
> pics. You get my vote for IOTW.
SMART ASS
90130_ Report This Comment Date: April 21, 2007 07:07AM
BTW... whenever I see a golf course, I think of my CR500.
This from a guy who's actually been kicked off some of the finest greens and
fairways in my area.
Once for getting a golf cart sideways and mired in a sand trap, and another time
when my friends and I were dressed up as pimps for a halloween party and decided
to play a round or two at a nearby club that had a strict dress code.
Ah, youth.
fossil_digger Report This Comment Date: June 11, 2007 12:24AM
played again today, humid, (93), no wind, and my drives were broke at best.
shot a f'n 100 even, 45/55.
anyone else play? orlando? you coulda made some money playin' my lame ass today.
i lost 8 bets on 18
with a triple bogey 8.
fossil_digger Report This Comment Date: June 11, 2007 01:10AM
man i can't play a practice round, i hafta count every shot, no mulligans,play
it where it lies 'cause the guys i play with, this group at least, are bettin'
every shot somethin' (buck-a-bet)
1. long ball
2. greens in reg.
3. 3 putt progressive snakes
4. sandie saves
5. water saves
6. o.b. saves (rare),
7. a par, birdie or eagle take a bucks from the higher scorers.
8. closest to the pin when 2 or more hit the green in regulation
9. longest putt of the day/ is 5.00/man.
10. all kinds of side bets are goin' off at any 1 time.
11. hitting any animals is 5.00/man.
12. hitting a tree and making par is 5.00/man.
13. hitting another golfer and making par is 5.oo/man, but has only happened
once.
and is a whole
other story.
i know i'm forgettin' a couple, but i don't keep score.
i got too much else goin' on trying to keep my wheels from fallin' off comin'
down the last 6 holes, those are really tough holes at my home track.
fossil_digger Report This Comment Date: June 21, 2007 03:32AM
TRUISMS OF GOLF
- Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.
- Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your
swing.
- When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more
club or two more balls.
- If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while the foursome ahead of
you is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately shank a
lay-up or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway
there.
- The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about
the golf swing.
- No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.
- The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant elimination of the one
critical unconscious motion that allowed you to compensate for all of your many
other errors.
- If it ain't broke, try changing your grip.
- Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot.
- A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponents' luck.
- It is surprisingly easy to hole a fifty foot putt .. for a 10.
- Counting on your opponent to inform you when he breaks a rule is like
expecting him to make fun of his own haircut.
- It's not a gimme if you're still away.
- The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight
line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.
- There are two kinds of bounces; unfair bounces and bounces just the way you
meant to play it.
- You can hit a two acre fairway 10% of the time and a two inch branch 90% of
the time.
- If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much
earlier age.
- Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the
beginning of the next group of three.
- When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always look down again at
exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever want to
see it again.
- Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple
bogeys to restore the fundamental equilibrium of the universe.
- If you want to hit a 7 iron as far as Tiger Woods does, simply try to lay up
just short of a water hazard.
- To calculate the speed of a player's downswing, multiply the speed of his
back-swing by his handicap; i.e., back-swing 20 mph, handicap 15, downswing =
300 mph.
- There are two things you can learn by stopping your back-swing at the top and
checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have, and which one is
wearing the glove.
- Hazards attract; fair ways repel.
- You can put a draw on the ball, you can put a fade on the ball, but no golfer
can put a straight on the ball.
- A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.
- If there is a ball on the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the
bunker. If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.
- It's easier to get up at 6:00 AM to play golf than at 10:00 to mow the
yard.
- Sometimes it seems as though your cup moveth over.
- A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving up the
game.
- Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up having to
pray a lot.
- A good golf partner is one who's always slightly worse than you are...that's
why I get so many calls to play with friends.
- That rake by the sand trap is there for golfers who feel guilty about skipping
out on lawn work.
- If there's a storm rolling in, you'll be having the game of your life.
- Golf balls are like eggs. They're white. They're sold by the dozen. And you
need to buy fresh ones each week.
- A pro-shop gets its name from the fact that you have to have the income of a
professional golfer to buy anything in there.
- It's amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the house will replace
his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps.
- If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he
probably shot an eight (or worse).
- You probably wouldn't look good in a green jacket anyway! A sweatshirt will do
just fine.
- It takes longer to learn to be a good golfer than it does to become a brain
surgeon. On the other hand, you don't get to ride around on a cart, drink beer
and eat hot dogs if you are performing brain surgery.