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Socialism101

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Socialism101

Comments for: Socialism101
whatever Report This Comment
Date: January 15, 2015 04:09AM

Fuckin' idiot capitalist POS...
jimeoin Report This Comment
Date: January 15, 2015 09:49PM

Politics Explained

FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need.

BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and put them in a barn with everyone else's cows. They are cared for by ex-chicken farmers. You have to take care of the chickens the government took from the chicken farmers. The government gives you as much milk and eggs as the regulations say you need.

FASCISM: You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to take care of them and sells you the milk.

PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. Your neighbors help you take care of them, and you all share the milk.

RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. You have to take care of them, but the government takes all the milk.

CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. The government takes both of them and shoots you.

DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors decide who gets the milk.

REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. Your neighbors pick someone to tell you who gets the milk.

BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. Then it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. Either you sell the milk at a fair price or your neighbors try to take the cows and kill you.

LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

(Original source unknown . . . this version expanded and Illuminated by SJ.)
pulse Report This Comment
Date: January 16, 2015 04:30AM

I'll take Surrealism thanks.
BlahX3 Report This Comment
Date: January 16, 2015 10:25AM

Firesign Theatre-ism:
You cut off the soles of your shoes, sit in a tree and learn to play the flute. After that you put on a wide belt, grab a guitar and lead sing-alongs about mountains, mud, pussy cats and Elmer Fudd.
Duude Report This Comment
Date: January 17, 2015 04:30PM

Stoner: Sit back, smoke a fat one, hang out with your cows.... whether there are really any there or not.
BlahX3 Report This Comment
Date: January 18, 2015 10:25AM

Goats, sheep and ponies seem thematic here, so why not cows as well?
pulse Report This Comment
Date: January 20, 2015 06:21PM

Also pig fucking. Gotta love pigs.
BlahX3 Report This Comment
Date: January 22, 2015 11:33AM

Not to mention all the chicken chokers and monkey spankers.
Mrkim Report This Comment
Date: January 22, 2015 08:24PM

You've truly reached the pinnacle of the self gratification when you can switch hands and ... gain a stroke :>P



Edited 2 time(s). Last edit at 22/01/2015 08:37PM by Mrkim.