Mrkim Report This Comment
Date: August 25, 2014 10:37PM
Hmmm, I agree with some of this, yet strongly disagree with it too.
Yes you should pay attention to your kids but, no, they should also be taught
manners to understand they can't be attention whores allowed to interrupt
necessary conversations either. This relates to teaching them manners, which is
something severely lacking in most kids and even more sadly, society as a
And the concept of being their best buddies, well, yes and no. You have to gain
the righteous respect and admiration of your kids but if your aim is to be their
BFF all the time, you'll find yourself unable to properly motivate them to do
better when necessary because you'll be too worried about what they will think
of your guidance to actually GIVE them the guidance they need and expect from
Like my Mom used to say "Raising kids will be the hardest job you'll ever
have". To me, teaching them what's expected to get along in the world,
what is and is not acceptable and tempering their learning with guidance,
motivation and loving discipline is about as hard a task as I can imagine
Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 25/08/2014 10:44PM by Mrkim.
DarkKlown Report This Comment
Date: August 25, 2014 11:32PM
As with all things in life it's about reaching a balance.
We live in a society where so many parents generally ignore their kids. I will
constantly see parents walking off down the road with a child following 5-10
meters behind. I think some people think that children should do this or do that
but when the kids don't it's the kids fault. Children are a blank slate, any
behaviour good or bad is something that they pick up from their environment. I'm
constantly catching myself doing or saying things that I have to correct myself
doing because I don't want that behaviour (that I picked up from those around
me) to be passed onto my kid.
I don't necessarily think you can't be a child's BFF, part of raising children
is defiantly discipline but that can generally be taught via example and
guidance. Taking out a whip to get someone in line may work in the short term
but long term learning is about instilling behaviours that are reinforcing to
the outcome you wish.
I think the point he's trying to convey is that like everything in life you get
out what you put in. You can't be upset at a teenager for bad behaviour if
that's all they have been exposed to. It's also about breaking cycles. It's not
good enough to turn around and say 'well that's how I was raised', it's about
thinking 'how was I raised? how can I do it better?'.
I'll definitely agree that raising kids is the hardest and longest thing you'll
ever do (doesn't end at 18!).
Mrkim Report This Comment
Date: August 26, 2014 12:29AM
I get a lot of what you're sayin DK and know too how difficult is is to break
some of the parenting molds we were taught. It's much easier to fall into those
same traps our own parents fell into than to set sail on a new and different
course in our own lives.
And yeah, 18 is not a cut off point for sure! Mine are 32 and 25 and we're all
still learning things together.
What's really trippy is havin these lil humans followin me around callin me
Grandad these days. Even stranger is that they act as if I'm sposta be some
source of wisdom