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The New Obama

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The New Obama

Comments for: The New Obama
Anonymous Report This Comment
Date: July 01, 2008 08:00PM

love these #$%^&* cartoons

Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 02/07/2008 12:05AM by Placelowerplace.
Anonymous Report This Comment
Date: July 02, 2008 08:42PM

WTF........You can't say NIGGER on here anymore?
Anonymous Report This Comment
Date: July 03, 2008 10:15PM

“I Ain’t Voting For No Nigger”
Anonymous Report This Comment
Date: July 03, 2008 10:17PM

Barack Hussein Obama is an international man of mystery, the child of a black father and a white mother, who totally chose his own middle name (which means "good one," the haughty bastard). This makes him a "Halfrican." He is currently running for President of the US of A on the Democratic platform, and is currently going mano a mano with John McCain for the prize of being the next fuckwit to run the country into the ground even more.

To retarded redneck Republicans and Fox News fans, Barack Iraq Saddam Hussein Obama bin Laden Jr. is an Islamic Manchurian candidate, a Muslim posing as a Christfag who may even be the Antichrist. Of course, because he is a darky and a blood relative of George Bush on his honky side, he will probably just try to steal the election if he doesn't win.

To retarded metrosexual liberal Democrats and Daily Kos readers, Barack Jesus F. Kennedy Christ Jr. is a messianic cult leader, the reincarnation of John F. Kennedy born as a black Jesus come to save America from six years of Iraq, eight years of George W. Bush, and two centuries of white guilt. Obama is actually a Jew-loving Zionist who will bomb Pakistan if elected, but don't tell his followers that. His followers also fail to recognize that, like every other politician, his whole campaign is all style and no substance.
Anonymous Report This Comment
Date: July 03, 2008 10:18PM

The most important issue in Barack Obama's election campaign has been the amount of melanin in his skin. Obama's skin is perhaps the second largest of his body's organs, and surrounds his endoskeleton. Recent news articles have brought to light that Barack Obama is what some might call "a black man", and still others "a nigger," due to the color of this organ and the massive size of his largest organ, his penis. This has been a huge shock to many Americans, used to seeing campaign commercials for white men and then not voting for anyone.

Incidentally, when you get right down to it, he's actually half redneck.

The trusty American media sprang into action to resolve this monumental issue for a confused citizenry: Does Obama have too much melanin for America to handle?

Numerous surveys and studies were performed to find out just what effect his skin color would have on his chances for election. The results showed that most Americans are racists, and will simply vote for whoever has the same color of skin that they do. However, these same studies found that this was not the single most important deciding variable for the voting public. Americans seemed more interested in Obama's cock and balls, and Hillary Clinton's centipede nest. It seems that, rather than skin color, similar genitalia (i.e., penes or vaginae) was in fact the biggest deciding factor when Americans decide who to vote for on election day.

Republicans always liked to publish photos of him taken in the shade, making his skin look darker. He got real butthurt and in a vain attempt to make himself look more like whitey, had his bung hole bleached. Now it's hard to tell whether he's smiling or bending over. Most of the time he talks through his ass anyway.
Anonymous Report This Comment
Date: July 03, 2008 10:21PM

The future:

2006 - Gets handed a senator's seat with no fight at all despite losing the debates handily.

2007 - Promise not to run for President. Burns all record of his Illinois votes.

2008 - Obama runs for President. Hillary gets VP. In a debate with McCain the week before the elections Romney beats Hillary with his healthcare plan, but in an attempt to grandstand McCain brings up Obama's most controversial votes, Obama replies That McCain himself once stood for the same thing and McCain enraged responds with far over-reaching hard line defense of his new platform scaring off moderates. Obama wins by 50% to 48%

2009 - Obama's assassination sparks the "race war of 09" Most Blacks are killed by a unified Latino/White army being massively outnumbered. As Whites attempt to rebuild America, Latinos ask for independence that in exchange for their help in the Negro genocide, that the Southwest be ceded to them. Hillary refuses. Violent crime in the west rises over 243% as the Latinos begin arming themselves for a violent revolution. Whites Exodus from the region and set up refugee camps in Kansas, and the now uninhabited regions of Louisiana.

2010 - President Hillary introduces and passes the "Obama's Legacy Bill" which fulfill all his campaign promises from removing us from Iraq, universal healthcare, expanding the patriot act, and the repeal of the second amendment. Troops deployed to the Southwest to maintain power. 87% are reported AWOL in 72 hours.

2011 - The Midwest unwilling to give up their guns for fear of Latinos, and the Southwest in a shambles, President Hilldog sends in the remainder of the Army just pulled from Iraq. Being mostly southerners join with the Midwest and refuse to enforce Hillary's commands. Mexicans strike a deal that they will aide the midwest/south in a fight for freedom in exchange for an autonomous Latino country in the former southwest. The two new countries issue dual Declarations of Independence. Hillary surrenders to her own Secretary of Defense at the knife point and recognizes the Midwest. Yet she refuses to cede Control New England and the eastern seaboard. America is divided into three countries. Middle America (Confederated States of Jesusland) North East America (New Oceana) and the South West (The Peoples Republic of Mexifornia)

2012 - In a last bid for power Hillary unleashes the Nuclear Arsenal of the ceded states via remote protocol "Megiddo". The Midwest Generals had long since changed the codes on their nukes, however the Latinos had abandoned the bases and did not know of their locations in their new homeland. Using the activation codes not yet changed 3 Nuclear warheads in the Southwest are detonated within their own bases outside Reno, east of Area 51 and North of Las Vegas. The Nevada desert is renamed "Mar del Cristal" or "The Sea of Glass" by the last few Latinos in existence. The Midwest agrees to aid Mexifornia in a last attempt to stop President Hillary before she uses any last nuclear weapons in her power. On Christmas eve, at 3:34 AM A massive arsenal of planes, tanks and even pickup trucks full of soldiers cross the Missouri river into a now abandoned Illinois and begin moving Northeast on intelligence that suggest Hillary has blockaded herself in Manhattan hoping to use the sea and civilians to her advantage.

2013 - Catnarok