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bayern
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date added
2007-08-26
category
Stupid
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No service?

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No service?

Comments for: No service?
fossil_digger Report This Comment
Date: August 26, 2007 01:42PM

smiling
bouncing smiley I LOVE IT! smiling
bouncing smiley
Placelowerplace Report This Comment
Date: August 26, 2007 01:45PM

Fucking Awesome! I will do that the next time as well. And there will be a next time because customer service is rapidly giving away to people addicted to txt messaging
pro_junior Report This Comment
Date: August 26, 2007 01:54PM

hell yeah!

I've "accidentally" dropped more than a few half empty coffee cups on the floor..

also a few tomato slices here and there...I said no tomatoes!






WAITRESS

Can I get anybody more

coffee.

JOE

No, we're gonna be hittin it.

I'll take care of the check.

She hands the bill to him.

WAITRESS

Here ya go. Please pay at the

register, if you wouldn't mind.

JOE

Sure thing.

WAITRESS

You guys have a wonderful day.

They all mutter equivalents. She exits and Joe stands up.

JOE

I'll take care of this, you guys

leave the tip.

(to Mr. White)

And when I come back, I want my

book back.

MR. WHITE

Sorry, it's my book now.

JOE

Blonde, shoot this piece of shit,

will ya?

Mr. Blonde shoots Mr. White with his finger. Mr White

acts shot. Joe exits.

NICE GUY EDDIE

Okay, everybody cough up green for

the little lady.

Everybody whips out a buck, and throws it on the table.

Everybody, that is, except Mr. Pink.

NICE GUY EDDIE

C'mon, throw in a buck.

MR. PINK

Uh-uh. I don't tip.

NICE GUY EDDIE

Whaddaya mean you don't tip?

MR. PINK

I don't believe in it.

NICE GUY EDDIE

You don't believe in tipping?

MR. BLONDE

(laughing)

I love this kid, he's a madman,

this guy.

MR. WHITE

Do you have any idea what these

ladies make? They make shit.

MR. PINK

Don't give me that. She don't

make enough money, she can quit.

Everybody laughs.

NICE GUY EDDIE

I don't even know a Jew who'd have

the balls to say that. So let's

get this straight. You never ever

tip?

MR. PINK

I don't tip because society says I

gotta. I tip when somebody

deserves a tip. When somebody

really puts forth an effort, they

deserve a little something extra.

But this tipping automatically,

that shit's for the birds. As far

as I'm concerned, they're just

doin their job.

MR. BLUE

Our girl was nice.

MR. PINK

Our girl was okay. She didn't do

anything special.

MR. BLUE

What's something special, take ya

in the kitchen and suck your dick?

They all laugh.

NICE GUY EDDIE

I'd go over twelve percent for

that.

MR. PINK

Look, I ordered coffee. Now we've

been here a long fuckin time, and

she's only filled my cup three

times. When I order coffee, I

want it filled six times.

MR. WHITE

What if she's too busy?

MR. PINK

The words "too busy" shouldn't be

in a waitress's vocabulary.

NICE GUY EDDIE

Excuse me, Mr. White, but the last

thing you need is another cup of

coffee.

They all laugh.

MR. PINK

These ladies aren't starvin to

death. They make minimum wage.

When I worked for minimum wage, I

wasn't lucky enough to have a job

that society deemed tipworthy.

NICE GUY EDDIE

Ahh, now we're getting down to it.

It's not just that he's a cheap

bastard--

MR. ORANGE

--It is that too--

NICE GUY EDDIE

--It is that too. But it's also

he couldn't get a waiter job. You

talk like a pissed off dishwasher:

"Fuck those cunts and their

fucking tips."

MR. BLUE

So you don't care that they're

counting on your tip to live?

Mr. White rubs two of his fingers together.

MR. PINK

Do you know what this is? It's

the world's smallest violin,

playing just for the waitresses.

MR. WHITE

You don't have any idea what

you're talking about. These

people bust their ass. This

is a hard job.

MR. PINK

So's working at McDonald's, but

you don't feel the need to tip

them. They're servin ya food, you

should tip em. But no, society

says tip these guys over here, but

not those guys over there. That's

bullshit.

MR. ORANGE

They work harder than the kids at

McDonald's.

MR. PINK

Oh yeah, I don't see them cleaning

fryers.

MR. BROWN

These people are taxed on the tips

they make. When you stiff 'em,

you cost them money.

MR. WHITE

Waitressing is the number one

occupation for female non-college

graduates in this country. It's

the one jab basically any woman

can get, and make a living on.

The reason is because of tips.

MR. PINK

Fuck all that.

They all laugh.

MR. PINK

Hey, I'm very sorry that the

government taxes their tips.

That's fucked up. But that ain't

my fault. it would appear that

waitresses are just one of the

many groups the government fucks

in the ass on a regular basis.

You show me a paper says the

government shouldn't do that, I'll

sign it. Put it to a vote, I'll

vote for it. But what I won't do

is play ball. And this non-

college bullshit you're telling

me, I got two words for that:

"Learn to fuckin type." Cause if

you're expecting me to help out

with the rent, you're in for a big

fuckin surprise.

MR. ORANGE

He's convinced me. Give me my

dollar back.

Everybody laughs. Joe's comes back to the table.

JOE

Okay ramblers, let's get to

rambling. Wait a minute, who

didn't throw in?

MR. ORANGE

Mr. Pink.

JOE

(to Mr. Orange)

Mr. Pink?

(to Mr. Pink)

Why?

MR. ORANGE

He don't tip.

JOE

(to Mr. Orange)

He don't tip?

(to Mr. Pink)

You don't tip? Why?

MR. ORANGE

He don't believe in it.

JOE

(to Mr. Orange)

He don't believe in it?

(to Mr. White)

You don't believe in it?

MR. ORANGE

Nope.

JOE

(to Mr. Orange)

Shut up!

(to Mr. Pink)

Cough up the buck, ya cheap

bastard, I paid for your goddamn

breakfast.

MR. PINK

Because you paid for the

breakfast, I'm gonna tip.

Normally I wouldn't.

JOE

Whatever. Just throw in your

dollar, and let's move.

(to Mr. WHITE)

See what I'm dealing with here.

Infants. I'm fuckin dealin with

infants.



Edited 1 time(s). Last edit at 26/08/2007 01:54PM by pro_junior.
Mrkim Report This Comment
Date: August 26, 2007 04:17PM

Nice "Resevoir Dogs" reference there pro, one of my faves smileys
with beer

I LOVE the ide behind this pic and will damned sure use it the next time I encounter this scenario grinning
smiley

smoking
smiley
Mint Report This Comment
Date: August 26, 2007 05:43PM

good god man i hope you didnt type that out
pro_junior Report This Comment
Date: August 26, 2007 06:23PM

yep..all from memory...
lol, yeah right!
cut and paste from here
fossil_digger Report This Comment
Date: August 26, 2007 07:53PM

what were we talking about again? i forgot. eye rolling
smiley