hallo fossil digger,
i was enlightened many times in my life but i can only remember 3 special of them.

first:
i was a young boy about 10 or 11. after a adventerous time around the house i went into my parents bedroom and just layed down on the bed. dunno how long i was laying there, just starring at the upper wall. maybe 5 or 15 minutes. but suddenly i felt something strange. my arms and my legs began to tingle and they felt very heavy and i could not move. i was getting a tunnel vision and the walls began to move. implode and expand ( sry, my iniglish is bad :-) - the walls moved in and out...
dont know how long i was lying there but ive totally lost my sense of time.. could have been 30 minutes or just 1 minute.
i will never forget this !!! i just stood up and moved on with my life and never thought of this until i was a young man.
ive gone through a cannabis addiciton and now i know it was very similar to smoking weed what i have felt there. just more intense and very confusing. it confuses me very much when i thing about it these days.
ive seen a documentary about thc thaty says all humans have special receptors to handle thc. like hardcoded into our genes. yeah i think i was having a hardcore drug trip without even taking drugs as a child.
second:
me and my buddy (r.i.p daniel) were on a nice meadow smoking the bong. we took a couple of killer hits and then i started to philosophize...
i told my friend.. hey ! imagine ... where we are sitting right now ... dinosaurs and ppl were walking here ober such a long time. plants rised and dyied. everything changed. imagine !!!
and then it hit me. i closed my eyes. and i saw an image of the earth from outta space. it hit me so hard i will never forget this. i saw this image and immediately i felt LOVE. it was like this earht i saw was sending love directly into my heart. it felt so good !!! from this time i know that the earth we live on, has a personality... it is living !!! its not just simply a ball with live on it... it lives by itself ! it is living...
third.
in scool one teacher was talking about the creating of the universe and he was talking about the big bang.
was the first time i heard of this theory. i thought about it a lot and one time it struck me like thunder.i was thinking about the sense of life and about the WHY ! why is all the matter around me formed like it is. it seemed so perfect. MILLIONS of years of preparation just for this moment where everything is like made for me. where does it come from ? and again i felt a straight rush of love through my whole body/brain. felt so good !!! i thought further about the beginning, the bigbang.. and all i saw inside my head was a white light everywhere... it was just white -. no darkness. only white. and all i felt was peace inside of me. peace. freedown and peace, thats all. no crazy explanations, no rules. just a plain good feeling.
now back to earth.
what am i going to do with this ??? i became an alcoholic. killing the pain is everything i can do.
this earth is so much away from what i have seen and felt. its a horrible place for me and most of the ppl who live here.
wtf is wrong with people?. i dont want to care .... the only things that keeps me moving are PUSSY and MONEY !!
sounds cheap i know, but i cannot help but to play the game...
life is a cruel game !!! nothing but a game !
the ppl with big money are those who are fucking up everything.... i have no money..
why am - i the one to care
greetings to you fossil digger.
when i was a young boy, i wanted to be an archeologist . there is a lot truth hidden under the dirt ! ;-)
mfg