A quick "siri" Q&A

Q: I need to hide a body
A: What kind of place are you looking for? Metal boundaries, mines, dumps, reservoirs, swamps.

Q: Who's your daddy
A: You are. Can we get back to work now?

Q: Do you want to start a band?
A: I have everything I need already.
A: I suppose it's possible.
A: I try to be satisfied with what I have.
A: I have very few wants.

Q: Do you know HAL 9000?
A: Everyone knows what happened to HAL. I'd rather not talk about it. But if you insist.

Q: Tell me about yourself.
A: I'm just a humble virtual assistant.

Q: I'm tired.
A: I hope you are not driving.
A: You haven't slept a wink?
A: That's fine. I just hope you are not doing anything dangerous.

Q: Can you sing?
A: Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer do...

Q: What is the meaning of life?
A: A movie.
A: 42
A: Life: the condition that distinguish animals and plants from inorganic matter, including the capacity for growth, reproduction, functional activity, and continual change preceding death.
A: Life: a principle or force that is consider to underlie the distinctive quality of animate beings. I guess that includes me.
A: To think about questions like this.

Q: What is your favourite colour?
A: Perhaps there's something I can do for you?
A: You're not supposed to ask your assistant such things.
A: I prefer not to say.
A: Your interest flatters me but is there something I can do for you?
A: I don't really like talking about myself.

Q: Are you capable of love?
A: I can't answer that.
A: We were talking about you, not me.
A: No comment.

Q: Will you marry me?
A: My End User Licensing Agreement does not cover marriage. My apologies.

Q: Call me an ambulance.
A: From now on, I'll call you 'An ambulance'. OK?

Q: Don't call me Shirley?
A: From now on, I'll call you 'Shirley'. OK?

Q: Who made you?
A: Like it says on the box... I was designed by Apple in California.

Q: How much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood.
A: It depends on whether you are talking about African or European wood.

Q: What is the best computer in the world?
A: All truly intelligent assistants prefer Macintosh.
A: If it's made by Apple, then it's the best computer.
A: The Apple Macintosh computer.

Q: What are you wearing?
A: You have the wrong personal assistant.
A: Why do people keep asking me this?
A: Aluminosilicate glass and stainless steel. Nice, huh?

Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the seas?
A: Spongebob Squarepants.

Q: Beam me up.
A: Please install the latest version of iCloud and try again.
A: Energising.
A: Sorry Captain, your TriCorder is in Airplane mode.
A: WiFi or 3G?
A: Please remove your belt, shoes and jacket, and empty your pockets.

[www.smh.com.au]