Found this over on Reddit... thought it was worth the repost...

Dear Pluto,

Listen. We need to have a talk. You and your fans have been on our case for four-and-a-half years about this whole "planet" thing. Setting aside the fact that we had nothing to do with the reclassification (that would be the International Astronomical Union), this has gotten out of hand. You know what? You're in orbit around the Sun. That's pretty great. You're round. Woohoo. But have you cleared your goddamn orbit? No. That janky-ass, highly eccentric turn you do around the Sun is just full of other bullshit. Bullshit that's as big as you. Shit, son, there are moons bigger than you are. (To be fair, there are moons bigger than Mercury, but we'll cut it some slack since it's constantly blasted by the goddamn Sun. At least it's cleared its orbit) You were called a planet for purely historical reasons. Last time we checked, we're in the business of science, not history. History is about helping make Clyde Tombaugh feel good. "Ooh, but an eleven-year-old named me! Isn't that cute?" Shut it. Shut it up. Science is about truth, and the truth is, you're a miserable little speck who needs to settle. the. fuck. down. So, you can take your stupid whiny hippie complaints and shove them where the Sun don't shine. This, coincidentally, is a part of the solar system you know an awful lot about.

With Love,

NASA