You're a right Monster, although in most of these countries it is called football. For some unintelligible reason the Americans call their egg handling game football too although it is mostly played by hand.
Only persons who have never played football (=soccer) can say it is gay. To be tackled by a strong defender can make anybody bite the dust. Another interesting thing about football (=soccer) is that size doesn't matter, some of the greatest players are small - it is all about technique, agility and stamina.