Hello, Animal Control..

I'd like to report that I was just attacked by a lizard.

Oh my, did he bite you, are you hurt?

No I'm allright, in fact I am doing great!

I just saved a ton of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico.

So what was the problem, why did you call us and say you were attacked?

I called because I really need to have someone come out here and tell me I'm not totally insane for seeing a talking lizard walking around on his hind legs.