What is the best thing about dating a homeless woman? You can drop her off anywhere.

What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are wanted.

What should a woman say to a man she's just had sex with?
Whatever she wants. He's sleeping.

Where does virgin wool come from?
Ugly sheep.
How do you spot the blind man at a nudist colony? It isn't hard.
How can you piss off your husband while making love? Call him from your cell phone.

What's the down side to a threesome?
You could disappoint two women instead of just one.

How do you know you're really ugly? Dogs close their eyes when they're humping your leg.
Why are hurricanes named after women? Because they arrive wet and wild, then leave with your house and car